Y’all. I need some prayer and good vibes. Working during all of this…. dealing with the bs my job comes with from those I have to serve…. how badly they treat us for trying to help them and enforce policy to them… and working 12 hour shifts…. my mental health is shot.
I literally just screamed and then cried when I got home and into the shower… this is all just way too much..
Apparently this guy was at his mother in law’s house and they were all going through photo albums and he sees he photobombed his wife 11 years before they even met. I fucking love this.
I’m writing this to you @taylorswift because I just don’t know what to do anymore. You were there for me from the very beginning of when my parents disowned me for being gay. You invited me over to your house for the 1989 SS when I was homeless and living in my car. You were there for me in my darkest hours. I guess I’m writing to you right now because you feel like a safety blanket to me. A safe place I can go when this world becomes too cruel. After 5 years of silence I sent my parents an audio message that was about an hour and a half long. It told my side of the story finally of what all was actually going on that led to the disownment email my mom sent me 2 days before thanksgiving in 2014. I revealed how I was an alcoholic, self harming, suicidal using drugs, etc trying to deal with the pain they all caused me. I apologized for whatever I needed to. I wanted to offer an olive branch and am waving my white flag. But as of tonight a month after that message was sent to them, I got a reply. Very short one. And ended with “All I can do is love you from afar.” Never in my life has my heart been more broken than it is now. I have never in my life felt so unloveable or unwanted. I don’t understand how and why a family, especially parents, could hate their own child this much but claim to still love them. I feel like I’m about to lose control again and go into this horribly dark hole I’ve fought with every ounce of my being to get out of and away from the past 5 years. But here we are. Drink in hand. Tears streaming down. Heart shattered. Thoughts of dark things. All of this is even taking a bad toll on my relationship with my partner because I’m truly just not okay. And I feel like I have to apologize for not being okay. I feel like a burden in this world. I was hoping to amend things before 2020 and start a healing process, but I guess that is something that is never going to happen. And I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m tired of putting on a happy face daily for the world when I’m screaming for help and dying inside. Sometimes I truly feel like you’re my only friend who I never get to hear from and still don’t expect to ever again (which is okay because I’ve had incredible moments with you), and are one of the only ones that actually cares. Your music is my lullaby to shut out the monsters in my mind while I try to fall asleep. And I just want to thank you for that and being here for me through my darkest hours when you don’t even know it. I don’t want a response, but if you ever see this, please just say a little pray for me. Because I truly do need it..
Thanks for having me at your birthday celebration last night @taylorswift!!!! Can’t believe it was my 13th show of yours. On your 30th birthday. On Friday the 13th. All at Madison Square Garden in NYC. Unreal. Being able to sing happy birthday to you was the highlight of my decade besides all the memories I’ve had with you over the past 10 years. Thank you for everything. It may be the end of a decade- but it’s the start of an age.
Thanks for having me at your birthday celebration last night @taylorswift!!!! Can’t believe it was my 13th show of yours. On your 30th birthday. On Friday the 13th. All at Madison Square Garden in NYC. Unreal. Being able to sing happy birthday to you was the highlight of my decade besides all the memories I’ve had with you over the past 10 years. Thank you for everything. It may be the end of a decade- but it’s the start of an age.
Taylor I’m so honored to have been able to spend some of your birthday with you.
Hearing lover live for the first time last night and losing our minds. Thank you @taylorswift for bringing @outofthewoods83 and @shayestays into my life. 🥰 We love you so much
Taylor I’m so honored to have been able to spend some of your birthday with you.
Hearing lover live for the first time last night and losing our minds. Thank you @taylorswift for bringing @outofthewoods83 and @shayestays into my life. 🥰 We love you so much
Taylor I’m so honored to have been able to spend some of your birthday with you.
Hearing lover live for the first time last night and losing our minds. Thank you @taylorswift for bringing @outofthewoods83 and @shayestays into my life. 🥰 We love you so much
Taylor I’m so honored to have been able to spend some of your birthday with you.
Hearing lover live for the first time last night and losing our minds. Thank you @taylorswift for bringing @outofthewoods83 and @shayestays into my life. 🥰 We love you so much
